Epiphany

Ever since my grandfather Juan Manuel Wheeler died, and my grandmother Alicia Mendoza Chisum during these past months, it wasn't only sorrow that was passing through my soul ripping me to shreds but it was something else.
The fact that I am not a spiritual person doesn't really help either.
I don't really believe in God or any religion per se. Yes, I many times I feel ashamed admitting it, especially coming from such a strong catholic family...
The point is, that ever since both of these horrible events happened I was swept with a sad understanding that everything is pointless, meaningless.
The things we talk, meaningless.
The things we do, meaningless.
The things we celebrate, meaningless.
My perspective is that we live, we die, as part of some cycle we call life, and that's pretty much it.

However minutes before writing this I had, what wiser men would call an epiphany.
A deeper understanding.
And it has everything to do, that today is my Son's 11th birthday and that yesterday was my wife's birthday.
I write this with tears in my eyes, of joy, that I finally figured it out.

While I was sleeping I awoke with my Son and my wife at my side and I thought of everything all at once. My family, my surviving Grandma Lupita, my Sisters, my Mom... my future job directing...
And suddenly, it came to me. The "meaning" I was looking for. It had suddenly found me.

Love.

I kinda understand now that life is not without meaning, but we are the ones responsible to "put" meaning into life. And to me, that meaning is love.

As cliched as that might sound, but it's true for me.

The love for my family, my friends, my work, they are all very, very important to me and I am happy for that.

It's not like a have a new direction in life, because I was already doing what I felt in my heart was right. I am with the people I love, I even work with people that I love. I just had a more in-depth understanding of what the meaning of my life is.

You get busy living, or you get busy dying. Has new meaning today and dammit I can now finally live with a more peaceful mind.

Maybe that John Lennon was right. All we need is love.
:)


New day: Our new movie has so much significance and "meaning" and I cannot believe I will start research as soon as Monday.

I hope that I can finally divulge what we are brewing very soon.

Have a great day :)